When I was kid, Hannah Montana was my show. After school, I would come home and watch reruns and sing along to the catchy tunes of the girl who lived a double life. My favorite song was “True Friends,” because back then all your friends were your best friends. Now, not so much. As I got older, I learned to tolerate friendships for their sake. Let me explain.

Some friendships are an annoyance, whether it’s the fact that they want to be in your presence constantly or that they complain about everything under the sun, I can only handle people in small doses. I find that certain individuals like to center themselves in the middle of every conversation. They pretend to be interested in whatever you have to say, and then they immediately flip the scope back in their direction without even a comment. After a while you quit trying to talk about the great things happening in your own life and spend hours listening to your “friend” talk about her boyfriend or work or school, basically everything in her life that hasn’t gone her way.

One of my biggest pet-peeves is when I encounter an individual who cannot take responsibility for anything in his or her life. It’s always somebody else’s fault, and I sit listening to the story thinking, this is clearly your fault, but what do I know? If you cannot take responsibility for things in life, how can you move forward? Your mindset will never change; therefore, you’ll never change. I feel as if especially this generation walks around with an entitled cape on their shoulders expecting people and establishments to just offer them friendships, relationships, and job opportunities. What happened to strong work ethic and working through hardships to see the light at the end of the tunnel? I cannot be the only one still overcoming adversity to reach my goals.

Another instance in friendships that rubs me the wrong way is the backhanded compliment. If you cannot be genuinely happy for me, why even bother? I find that this happens most with either school accomplishments or someone I might be going on a date with. I’ll tell a friend that I got an A on a really complex paper, and her response goes something like, “Wow, good for you! It only took you like an entire month, right? Now at least you won’t be as irritable.” Thanks “friend” for the kind words about my sparkling personality during this stressful part of the semester. I greatly appreciate it. (As you can tell, my sarcasm gets the best of me when it comes to the notorious backhanded compliment.)

When it comes to the men or lack thereof in my life, “true friends” are the least encouraging. I could show a girlfriend a picture of the chiseled guy with high-quality scruff with whom I have a date later in the week, and the only thing she does is criticize things that I found attractive previously. For example, “Alex, he isn’t that tall, and his scruff looks a little unkempt. Are you really going out with him?” Friends are supposed to be happy for you; they aren’t supposed to throw dirt on something you’re excited about. If I voiced every thought and valid judgment I’ve had about friends’ significant others, I would have no friends at all because I know when to rein it in.

For years, I have been the “therapist” friend – you know, the person everyone turns to for relationship advice. You avid readers already know that my experience is limited; however, I read enough and observe society enough to know what is and what isn’t acceptable in a relationship. I could give advice until I’m blue in the face to the same few people, and not once do they take the sage wisdom I lay on them. Why ask me if you weren’t really interested in what I have to say? I realized real quick that some people just want an ear to talk to; they don’t really care what your thoughts are, they just needed someone to sit and act the part of therapist.

I do have some great friends in my life who I can turn to for everything. Some, I just stop venting to because I know I won’t get anything constructive or encouraging. Ladies and gents know who your true friends are; know your worth in a friendship because they’re the ones who are going to pick you up when you’re down and get you through the rest of your life – one day and one cup of coffee at a time.