Life slows down for no one. This is something that I am still trying to come to terms with. I keep waiting for there to be a lull, a brief period of time where I can just relax and be me, and I’m now realizing that there will be no such lull.

As a college student working almost full-time and as a future educator, I will never have a stress-free life with an advantageous lull. I know what you all must be thinking, “But Alex, you’ll have three months off for the summer every year!” While I will not physically be in my own classroom, the work never stops. I am a firm believer that education goes beyond the classroom setting, and while I will take a much-needed vacation, I will never stop teaching for three straight months.

However, very recently I heard some advice from a very reliable source claiming that stressing over things so far in the future is the worst thing you can do. If any of you avid readers know me personally, you know that I am the queen of stressing over things in the near and distant future on top of the things I have currently going on in my life. I’m trying to take things one day and one assignment at a time so that I don’t have a nervous breakdown.

Just one example from my week that was on the brink of a breakdown involved a cup of coffee, a metaphysical poetry midterm, and a small bird. One of the perks of college is that sometimes your professors will opt to allow you to take your midterm online from home. I love that college affords the option to take a midterm in your pajamas and an ugly bun.

I woke up fairly early, brewed a giant mug of coffee, loaded up the old computer, and began to take my midterm. The test itself had high expectations for only an hour. I had to answer at least four clusters of 5-6 questions about a poem excerpt without using any of my materials. All of the question clusters were also short-answer questions, and the poems were complex stanzas loaded with convoluted conceits. In short, I was struggling hardcore to answer each question effectively due to the time constraint.

About halfway through the time, not necessarily the exam itself, I heard what sounded like rainfall right outside my window. It was as if water droplets were lightly hammering away at my air conditioner from the outside. But then I happened to glance out the window and noticed that it was sunny, bright and cheery without a cloud in sight. Hmm … interesting.

Once the hammering ceased, I sipped my coffee to calm my jitters and began analyzing and typing away before time truly did run out. And then I heard the hammering again, except this time it was coupled with an intense scratching. Immediately, my brain interpreted the situation as being high alert, and I jumped out of my chair, ran to the other side of the room, and began frantically searching my bedroom for any signs of forced entry. Let me remind you that the time on my midterm was now at about 20 minutes, and I still had two full question clusters to answer.

After searching in a panicked state around my bedroom, I ventured over to the window, the source of the noises. I grabbed my desk chair and stood on it because I’m short and couldn’t see over my air conditioner. As I stepped up and peeked through the blinds I found myself face-to-face with a pudgy little bird. This bird was hopping away on my air conditioner, its tiny talons clacking away like keys on a keyboard. He began chirping at me and then flew away.

I quickly sat back down and frantically started answering questions in the hope that I would at least finish the exam before time ran out. At 15 minutes to go, I heard the noises again – the hammering and the scratching – except this time it sounded as if the bird were physically trying to enter my home. Panic immediately settled in once again because if this chubby little creature actually managed to get in, I would not know what to do. I can barely handle stinkbugs and the occasional bee, but a bird … not a chance. I’d sooner lock myself in my bathroom than deal with something that could potentially poke out my eyeballs. Better yet, you know what, the bird can actually have my house; I’ll find a new home because we will not be cohabitating.

I kid you not, it sounded as if this bird were trying to squeeze its way inside my air conditioner to make it into the warmth of my bedroom. At one point, I even saw him trying to squeeze between the two panes of glass like an actual stinkbug. It was the craziest thing and it had my anxiety through the roof through an already stressful situation, my midterm.

At this point, I had about 10 minutes left before the test exited and saved whatever measly answers I provided, so I answered them as best as I could. The whole time I sat rigid listening to the bird actually terrorizing me from the outside. I thought he was going to get in and I’d have to explain to my professor why I failed the exam. Talk about “the dog ate my homework,” more like “a bird broke in.”

Finally, I hit “save and submit,” and you know what? As soon as I exited the exam, the bird left my window, and I haven’t seen him since. My life is still in fact in shambles. Later that very same day, my family came into town for the weekend to celebrate my birthday a little early this year. As you may know, last year’s birthday, my 21st, was not the best of times. It was tragic, but I got through to another year, and my 22nd will hopefully be more exciting than depression and buying a new car.

We spent the weekend visiting yet another zoo, because apparently, it’s a thing now with my family, eating lots of yummy food, enduring a power outage, and just laughing and loving life. I love when my family comes to visit or when I get to go home because it reminds me that there is more to life than what’s directly in front of me. It also gives me a much-needed break and assures me that I am not alone in this world even if at times it feels that way.

I also got to attend a teacher dedication ceremony for the senior education majors at my university, and while it seemed a little cheesy, the message behind the event is something I’ll never forget: know your why, that is always remember why you want to be a teacher. I already touched on this in a previous blog, but my why is to be the change I want to see in the world and to always strive to teach the whole student. I’ve known from a young age that this is my vocation in life, and every step and obstacle along the way has led me here, to this spot, on your computer, phone, or tablet screen.

I take pride in what I do, and I love learning from others just what it takes to be the best educator I can be. As I get older, I most certainly hope I’m getting wiser because, while coffee helps, I need people in my life whom I can trust to teach me how to embrace the crazy stress and anxiety and just take each day as it comes because tomorrow is a new day.