Pick-up lines. As a woman, I have to say, nine times out of ten, pick-up lines are cheesy and lack the sense of wit they should cherish. When men interact with a woman, those first couple minutes are prime time. This is the moment when men search the rolodex and select the perfect one-line sinker that either makes the girl laugh, melt, or call them out on the load of baloney they’re trying to serve as an appetizer.

Now all you wonderful readers know that I absolutely have stories to tell about my experience with pick-up lines. One in particular really shook what little faith I had left in the male race. It made me question my own fate: Would I ever find someone who could spar with me in a battle of wits?

It was a stormy winter day, and I was relaxing in the comfort of my cozy apartment, swaddled in a colorful afghan, sipping the sweet, sweet nectar that is coffee. I was in a Zen state, probably indulging in a little blog writing, when I heard the hopeful ping of my phone. It was a Tinder notification from what I had assumed would be a guy with a sense of humor and a little wit from his file of pick-up lines. But, as my life normally takes a turn for the worse, it was the complete opposite.

I opened the notification with an overzealous rush of excitement only to find one of the most uncreative lines I’ve ever encountered. This man flipped through his stock of one-liners and selected, “Is your name Ariel, because I think we mermaid for each other?” The only way that this line would work on me, is if my name were actually Ariel or was somewhere in the vicinity of sounding like Ariel upon pronunciation. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate a witty pun, but using this line on me was definitely the wrong choice. And, if I were a guy, it would not be my number one draft pick.

While this pick-up line was not an all-star player, I do have one that tops all others in the creativity department. Recently, I was having the typical boy-talk with my sister – as sisters do – and she told me a story all about how her life got quick turned upside down.

So, let me take a minute, just sit right there, (with your coffee, of course) and I’ll tell you all about how she met the love of her life. Like me, my sister was fed up with the tedious task of trying to find a date in our small hometown; therefore, she bit the bullet and downloaded Tinder with minimal expectations considering the pool of men she was fishing in.

Then one day, she caught a fellow who snatched her bait with the best pick-up line I’ve seen so far. It was sweet and witty and exactly what all men should be doing when women cast a line in the crowded waters. This is how you snag yourself a lady, my friends: “I am very saddened to inform you that you’re above the maximum standard on looks. You are clearly an 8.5, no wait a 9, and here at Tinder, we only accept 7’s as a maximum. Your account will be DEACTIVATED unless you reply to this with your name, number, movie preference, and your favorite restaurant. Have a nice day.”

I am here to inform you lovely readers that my sister has been dating the genius behind this pick-up line for about two months, and they are stronger than ever. They have restored that smidgen of faith I have in the male race. I now know that it is possible to find respectable gentlemen on an app such as Tinder.

Ladies, never give up hope. Once you weed through all the minnows, you’ll find yourself a well-mannered trout, ready and willing to give you the best pick-up line of your life.