In college, advisers, professors, and any human in a position of power tends to tell the masses everything but exactly what they need to swiftly glide through undergraduate without a hiccup. In my experience, the overall scheme set in motion resides in the hands of those siphoning as much money as possible from young adults who are most likely using their parents’ income to fit the bill. The struggle is real, right? Well, imagine how lovely it was to uncover the truth about the education system and the processes and procedures necessary to become a licensed educator. It was a learn-as-you-go type of a journey, and this trek through the unknowing abyss taught me a few things about persistence.

1. I learned that if I would have given up on getting a degree when I thought I wanted to, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

2. I learned that certain people will always be in your corner, while others are caught drifting to the other three 90-degree angles in a square room.

3. But most importantly, I learned that I am capable of success as long as I work toward the goals I’ve set for myself.

With persistence and a little dose of faith, I’ve managed to carve my own path in the trodden earth. I’m on my way to being – or at least, I hope being – the best teacher that I can possibly be. And, what I am ultimately learning is that this next year will be the most trying year of my life.

I’m by myself; now, don’t get me wrong, I love the solace of a quiet and lazy Saturday, candles gradually eating up the wick and permeating the air with the lovely aesthetic that is fall. Actually, fall is the only real aesthetic in my life, and if that makes me an average white girl, then so be it. I’ve accepted my fate, and I have no qualms with the very atmosphere of my existence.

What I do have qualms with is the very unorganized and convoluted manner in which educators attempt to learn material, practice material, and regurgitate material for the varied groups of students we will all have in the next week. That’s right, ladies and gents, the first day of school is tomorrow, and to say I feel unprepared is the understatement of the year. I don’t have a clue what I’m doing, and what I have come to realize is that not knowing is okay.

I cannot possible know everything that is going to or will happen this next year. All I can do is take it day-by-day; it is the only true way to keep stress levels at a minimum. However, stress levels are never really at a minimum. Let us take today – the day before the official first day of school – for example. How about I set the scene for all you avid readers …

It is a lovely Sunday morning; it’s one of those mornings when I emerge from the sheets early and make it to mass before the entire day floats on by. I apply minimal make up, adorn a flowy floral top and jeans, and head down to the parking lot for a serene drive amidst the cool air, which induces a surge of excitement for the upcoming fall season.

As upbeat tunes fill the cabin, I begin the slow decent down the pothole ridden driveway only to be stopped dead in my tracks. There is a massive tree blocking the width of the driveway. Stunned, I sit pondering why the universe hates me? If anyone saw the multitude of emotions that flitted across my face in the solid minute I sat just staring at the only exit route, they would think I’ crazy. What was I to do?

Of course, my first instinct is to call my mother – even if she is 300 miles away and not really qualified to handle fallen trees. I could see the inevitable laughter filling her face because this is something that would only happen to me on one of the most nerve-wracking days of my life.

The official first day of school is tomorrow, and if I cannot find an escape route, my freshmen will have a substitute on their first day of high school. What a great first impression … Even my morning coffee isn’t able to calm my nerves and anxieties about school and now a slumped over tree.

I do not do well with situations that are entirely out of my control, obviously. If you have been following my life for whatever reason, you know that I freak out about everything. And of course I live in a building with a smattering of people who just seem to ignore situations that impede the effortless functionality of everyday life. For example, months went by before I returned and had to report that the lights in the parking lot had not been turning on at night since the power went out 4 months ago. I guarantee that these humans would not report the fallen tree; they would literally wait with the expectation that someone else will handle that. And that someone will be me. If I could actually leave the premises, I would go buy a chainsaw and handle the tree by myself; but, I am not the strongest or the handiest when it comes to power tools. Therefore, I am left powerless and waiting for a professional to arrive (hopefully) to take care of the tree.

In other news – and because of my neurotic ways and the fact that I cannot leave – I have pretty much planned the first two weeks of school. Why, you ask? I honestly have no other response but “because I’m insane.” For some reason, I think that everything needs to be planned out to perfection, and what I’m realizing is that unrealistic notions such as perfected lesson plans is an unattainable feat.

High school is the most unpredictable setting, other than my personal life, i.e. the tree in my driveway. Therefore, I cannot micromanage my lessons. I will say, that I have done more historical research in the past two days than I have ever done in my extensive years of schooling, and I teach Literature. Thank God for Mr. Know-it-All because he has helped me tremendously the past few days.

Actually, Mr. Know-it-All has gotten me through the past two weeks. Whether you know this or not, Mr. Know-it-All and I have been separated by distance, and for lack of a better description, it sucks. I don’t wish distance on anyone, and I have grown very comfortable in my introverted ways and moments in solitude. What I know now is that I do not want to do distance ever again after this school year.

Three-hundred miles is 300 too many. However, while distance at times can be unbearable, it is making us stronger in our relationship. And, if we could make it through the hardest two weeks of my life, than we can make it through the school year.

While this new transition has been hard, I am managing – one day and one cup of coffee at a time. I spend a lot of time talking on the phone because sometimes the cure to a sour mood and some sad tears are the voices of your loved ones. I honestly don’t know how I would have gotten this far without the amazing people in my life, but I do know that I never want to find out.

Ladies and gents, stay tuned for my day-to-day adventures as a classroom teacher as I unveil everything I didn’t know then and I don’t know now about teaching. It’s going to be a wild ride, but I’m excited to begin my career guiding students to success. Until next time …