Perspective drives experience. In a world where society forces the mold of perfection down the throats of the young and the impressionable, I oftentimes find myself spiraling into the depths of self-doubt and insecurities, which is common among the masses. I never felt comfortable in my own skin, finding every possible excuse to avoid anything that would document the way I saw myself, i.e., photos.

I hated the way I looked in photos. I remember the day I took my senior pictures so vividly. My smiles were forced, my hair looked like Medusa due to the humidity, and I was not confident in my outfit choices. I loathed the entire experience, and every time I glance at the photos on the wall in my parent’s house, I participate in a whole-body cringe because they remind me of a time in my life when I didn’t like myself.

My perspective on my appearance has changed in the past four years since the overweight naïve girl posed for her senior pictures. I found an inner beauty that I could appreciate through my writing. Recently, in an assignment for a business writing class, I acknowledged for the first time on paper that I am a blogger; I am a writer. It may seem silly, but this minute admission cleared the path for whole-body acceptance, which is a daily struggle for me. I always shied away from the title because I truly felt like I wasn’t good enough to encompass the role. I realized that I have to be confident in myself first before others will find a value in the tales I tell on this site.

This admittance also made me realize that I need to appropriately market my site. Currently, the little excerpts from my life consist only of words, but isn’t there truth to the saying “a picture is worth a thousand words”? Well, I certainly plan to find out.

This past weekend, a dear friend of mine captured the true essence of my persona. She agreed to take professional photos for me, and I was shocked at the outcome. Like I said, years of insecurity and hating the way the lens captured my nose or my thighs or my chubby cheeks resurfaced, and I prepared for the worst. I expected to hate every single shot … but I loved them all.

She took my Pinterest board of inspiration and made me the focal point. Each photo expresses a part of me that the words I publish every week cannot. Ladies and gents, she even managed to catch a few genuine smiles, which don’t happen all too often. This was my day as a model, and while it was awkward at first, it was freeing to finally push outside judgments and opinions aside and just be me.

The photoshoot extravaganza began with an outfit change. Coming off a six-hour shift, I needed to change out of my work attire and put on something more my aesthetic. Sticking with a pretty neutral floral color pallet, the flashes began.

The first location was a worn white wall outside my place of employment. She took a few strategic shots, after each click ensuring that I felt as comfortable and as carefree as possible. We then moved to some greenery near a brick wall, and she captured a few more shots, this time with the added prop of a yellow flower. Just picture little old me standing outside a pretty populated Kohls store, attempting to pose for photos. It must have been quite the sight.

After yet another outfit change, we moved onto the next location which was an outdoor shopping center. I need to set the scene for this one …

It was an overcast Saturday afternoon as two determined young women set out to find the perfect backdrop for photography. Situated between a Panera Bread and a Barnes and Noble, this ambitious duo stumbled upon the perfect runway for some “modern meets classy chic” style photos. We spent about an hour goofing around and letting the shutter do all the work. While she clicked and I posed, there was a consistent beat from a community soft rock concert acting as the soundtrack to this photoshoot. Each person enjoying the band also had the opportunity to watch me stumble around in three-inch booties in 85-degree weather. Again, I must have been a sight for sore eyes … literally.

This location – the runway – was probably my favorite because I felt the freest during these shots. I had coffee and an arrangement of greenery and my brown tote purse and a novel to add some spice to the shots that will ultimately market me and my blog. I had so much fun strutting my stuff so that I can show you – my audience – who I truly am as a human.

I like floral prints and high heels. I like pumpkin spice lattes and kimonos. I like statement piece earrings and bandannas in my hair. I like fashion and books, and I want to show everyone and anyone who reads about my life or encounters me in person who I am because I like myself, all parts.

While I still struggle with self-doubt and insecurities, at the moment, I feel great. I’m happy, and I want to share that with the world. It’s okay to doubt your worth, but never lose yourself to the ugly voice inside your head telling you that it doesn’t get better. It does, and I can say that because I’ve experienced life taking me down a dark path and then something like writing, brought me out of it into the light. I’m so excited to share these snapshots of my life with you, as well as give credit where credit is due. I believe that people come into your life for a reason, and I’m so grateful that my dear friend entered mine. Stay tuned to Instagram for the photo releases – a new photo will accompany every new tale from my life.

As always, coffee truly did get me through my day as a model. Each sip took me one step closer to self-acceptance, and I hope I can ride this caffeine and photo high for as long as possible … or at least until another photoshoot extravaganza is in order.