I was forced to sleep on the couch. Actually, let me rephrase; I opted to sleep on the couch because my only other option was to sleep butt to butt with my sister as she ground her teeth into little stumps. No thank you. Therefore, I snuggled into the not-so-comfy couch and let gravity force my eyelids closed as I fell into a deep slumber.

At about 5:00 a.m., I felt teeny tiny little pricks on my leg that eventually turned into intense nudges. My loopy brain was telling me that there was an intruder in the house and that I needed to slowly crack open my lids to catch a glimpse of the fiend. When I opened my eyes, I saw the fluffiest nugget of a cat making a beeline for my face.

For roughly two hours, I snuggled with two cats – Prince B and Princess B (insert the rest of the expletive) – I later learned that their names are actually Wham and Shadow and they’re sisters. Well, guess what? In my eyes, they’ll forever be the prince and princess that stole my heart and put me in the Christmas spirit. Speaking of Christmas spirit, today is Christmas, and you avid readers will never guess how my white American family spent the day. Let me paint the canvas for you …

Six loud and white Americans stumbled around the beautiful Air BnB attempting to look semi-presentable this Christmas morn. We did our makeup and applied intense red lips, while the boys slapped on some antiperspirant, dabbed on a little Chanel Blue, and called it a day. Oh, and the best part about this particular morning routine is that each of us wore an ugly Christmas sweater.

That’s right ladies and gents – all six of us could be spotting sporting the most ridiculous sweaters as we trekked to the famous Christmas Market in the center of the city. You see, after yet another breakfast of eggs and a random meat, we walked almost an hour and a half through the sketchiest part of the city to reach the market.

I want you to really picture six lumbering white humans in tacky sweaters walking through a pretty sketch area for over an hour. We stuck out like sore thumbs. Also, it was basically subzero outside; so, we were frozen solid once we finally arrived.

Upon arrival, we began looking at the various stands: Belgian chocolates and various homemade candies, ornaments, meat and cheese stands, hot wine and Belgian waffles … It was as if we were transported to the best place on earth, and after that hike, we truly needed it.

We shopped until we dropped, and of course we ate in the Wild, Wild West. Six loud white Americans sat around a table in the most dimly lit restaurant I’ve ever seen and ate burgers, salads, and beer while wearing obnoxious sweaters. We were a sight for sore eyes, and if you catch my Instagram, you’ll get to see the goofy sweaters up close and personal.

For those who may not take a peek, I’ll give a little verbal preview. There was a goat with a bell, a reindeer releasing a mint out the backdoor, a dinosaur and an ostrich wearing a scarf, Snoopy under rainbow lights, and a leg lamp. Like I said, ridiculous.

After our Christmas meal, we ventured out into the square where there was an amazing tree and beautiful cathedrals and architecture. In the middle of this square amidst hundreds and hundreds of people, we decided it was the perfect time for a photoshoot. People were laughing at us, and we didn’t have a care in the world. It was so much fun because we were just being us in the middle of a foreign city taking pictures that I’m sure will make next year’s Christmas card; so, stay tuned.

Once we were satisfied with the pictures, we walked the other half of the market and then made the hour and a half trek home. This was the most annoying walk of my life mainly because the creeps were literally emerging from every crevice. I’m pretty sure my sister and I were ogled and cat called numerous times while my dad bit his tongue because he was about ready to throat punch a sketchy dude.

Plus, it was getting dark really quick, and our legs were starting to feel the burn. I’ve exercised more on this trip than I have in the past six months, which is great, but I have no desire to make that walk again tomorrow. Hopefully, we find somewhere close to explore before heading back to Lakenheath, England because I’m weak and not entirely in the mood for more judgement and social anxiety.

All in all, today was great. We wore the sweaters, snapped some pictures, and had a grand old time walking ten miles roundtrip. Let’s just all be grateful that Alex had some decent coffee today, because this excerpt may have turned out differently. I hope all you faithful readers are having or had (depending on your time zone) an amazing holiday with family and friends. And if you couldn’t make it home, know that we’re wishing you the best holiday season. Drink your beverages by the chimney with care, because Saint Nicholas was there, and now you’re here reading about my “white” Christmas. Until tomorrow …