Food portions are really starting to aggravate the six loud Italian humans as they progress through Europe. You see, half of the humans are male, and they consume more than the average homo sapiens, and the other half are hormonal females who just want to feed the angry stomach monsters and cure angst with a steaming brew.

They awoke this morning to the frigid home of a friend of the eldest brother and waited endless hours for proper nourishment. The family has been road-tripping throughout Europe; therefore, they have been toting minimal food items because the giant turd barely holds their copious amounts of luggage and physical forms.

Finally, the eldest brother emerged from his bed, and all four siblings piled into the turd and traveled to the Ramstein Air Force Base in Germany to stock up on the essentials, like toilet paper and antiperspirant and food. After yesterday’s travels to Eulenbis, Germany – a neighboring town to Ramstein – they were all in need of some normalcy. Let me take it back about ten hours so that you avid readers can truly get a sense of what went down …

What was supposed to be a nine-hour drive turned into an almost twelve-hour trek that not one person was ecstatic about. I discussed the trash tuna fish sandwiches from a gas station vending machine and the consistent lack of decent coffee. But, what I did not yet have the chance to discuss was how we somehow missed an exit for a restroom nearly five consecutive times.

I’ve said it many a time – I have a tiny bladder, and yesterday, I had consumed a lot of liquids, only one being a decent latte. Needless to say, I had to relieve my bladder, and my older brother kept missing the exits because the major highways are pitch black. There is zero lighting save for the occasional or never-ending stream of LED headlights blinding us for miles on end; there is really no in-between.

When my eldest brother finally calculated an exit correctly, he turned left instead of right and took us directly back on the highway. Therefore, we had to backtrack and eventually found a Burger King, which is where I was forced to post yesterday’s entertaining adventure through Austria.

As we sat eating a fattening and gross American meal – because dealing with the language barrier was even more grating than small portions – I uploaded the next installment while simultaneously scrounging through my photos in the hopes of finding one I hadn’t used yet. The reason I had to post from a random Burger King in Germany is because the place where we stayed last night didn’t have Wi-Fi, and not one rest stop has had a strong signal.

After our luxury five-course meal, we drove the last hour or so to Eulenbis where we drank wine and played Speak Out. It was hilarious, and gave us quite the distraction from having zero connection to the outside world. I finally had the chance to do a little reading before bed, and when I arose to the blinding sun, the four siblings went to base.

Once there, we purchased the essentials which included some coffee because up until that point, we had consumed nothing since the night prior. When we arrived back at the lodging, my mother made a splendiferous breakfast of eggs and bacon. Full and ready to take on the day, the family loaded the turd and headed to Brussels, Belgium.

It took a little less than four hours to arrive, and this journey consisted of much arguing and intense moments of silence, but we got through it. We stopped a few times, ate some interesting snacks including peanut butter and almond popcorn – I would highly recommend – and eventually arrived at the home where we would be staying for the next three days. It is a beautiful home, and it comes with a few furry perks. The owner has two indoor/outdoor cats, and we got the chance to snuggle with them for a little before they scurried off. They are the cutest little creatures, and I cannot wait to see my own precious felines after the holidays.

After a quick trip to a local supermarket, we cooked and ate chicken marsala and sat by the tree petting the cats and laughing about how crazy this adventure has been thus far. It is insane to me that today is Christmas Eve because it doesn’t necessarily feel like Christmas.

It is the first time we haven’t been in our childhood home for the holidays, and while it is pretty amazing to be in Belgium, we have to find some way to make it feel like the Christmas spirit is in the air. I’m sure we’ll find a beautiful church tomorrow for mass and a lovely establishment for dinner, but nothing will beat traditional foods at my brother’s house on the 27th amongst family and friends.

To all you avid readers, I hope you’re having a wonderful Christmas Eve with your families. Be merry, drink hot cocoa, cider, egg nog, and lots and lots of coffee. Stay tuned for tomorrow’s adventures as we take on Belgium. Merry Christmas!