Six loud Italian humans take on Italy … After arriving particularly late to Milan and after much confusion aimlessly and angrily wandering through the midnight streets dodging ultra-sketch humans, we managed to rest semi-peacefully in our courtyard apartment in the middle of the city. All night it sounded as if someone were trying to break into our apartment, but it turns out that it was the lift clanging against its metal frame and the human stampede clambering up the steps. But, no matter; we were in Milan.

Thankfully we each had ample time to look presentable – ladies and gents we had eyebrows today. We got ready and left the apartment in search of another aesthetic breakfast spot, and boy did my mother find a gem of a place. It was called California Bakery, and it served the best dang espresso I’ve ever tasted. The pastries were divine, and the entrees were exquisite. We truly couldn’t have asked for a better eating experience.

Full and ready to take on the day, we headed to the Milan Cathedral and walked the terrace steps that overlooked the entire city. Of course, six loud scraggly humans could be found consistently going the wrong direction because why not. Our tickets also included entrance to the cathedral itself, but the line was about a mile and a half long, so we nixed that portion of the tour and instead walked along the various shops included in the Christmas Market.

My mother’s one request was that we visit as many different Christmas Markets as we can, and luckily, one was within our midst. And here is where the story gets mighty interesting. My dad is a walking ball of stress and anxiety in claustrophobic city situations where it is extremely easy to get lost or taken. Therefore, he has been driving the majority of the six loud Italian humans crazy on this trip thus far, even though we know that it is only because he loves us.

However, today something happened that scared everything out of me. Two men kept trying to tie rainbow wrap bracelets on our wrists as we walked by – first starting with my eldest brother and working their way down to my father. We each adamantly declined the “free” souvenir that had nothing to do with the city. But they snagged my parent’s arms and my sister’s arm, and then demanded cash. You see, my father is a no-nonsense man, and he will in fact cause a scene. My mother handed the men €5, and then they started to get handsy and began shouting. So, we just scurried away as fast as we could and avoided them because we do not need an international incident with a member of the military in our midst.

While this was a slight damper in the trip, the Christmas Market made up for all our hardships that day … for the most part. I bought a stylish Italian hat that will go perfectly with my outfit for Rome tomorrow, as well as a few knickknacks and gifts for those in my life.

After the market, we toured the Museum Duomo, which displayed interesting oil canvases as well as their statue counterparts; the art depicted various religious figures and scenes and took us on a trip through history. As the six loud Italian humans were leaving the venue, one of us managed to set off an alarm for being too close to a fixture. Like I said, disaster follows us, and we are a hot mess, however, It was a great day in the city. We even ate at an Italian restaurant where we consumed our weight in various pasta dishes, salads, and soups to prepare ourselves for the three-hour train ride ahead of us to Rome.

We arrived at the train station early, and of course we were like lost puppies trying to find a kiosk to print the tickets and the correct departure gate because we don’t need a grand detour to some obscure part of the country. Finally, we found our gate and made it on the train. You would think that it would have been a peaceful ride without any interruptions, but no.

You see, the train captain kept announcing that as a courtesy, all passengers were to keep their listening devices on a low volume to not disturb the other patrons. Mid nap, I hear this obnoxious tune blasting from a device near me. I knew as soon as the sound hit the air waves that it had to be my father causing a ruckus with the impromptu Kix concert in the middle of a train ride through Italy. It turns out, airline headphones are junk and would have better luck in the trash than plugged into a cell phone.

We exited the train in Rome at about 8:40 p.m. and began weaving our way to the taxi lane because these six loud Italian humans were not walking an hour up the hilly cobblestone terrain of the city of Rome with luggage and full bladders.

When we emerged from the station, a man approached my eldest brother and offered us a ride for €30, and we jumped on that like it was nobody’s business. I was a little sketched out because he led us away from the taxi lane to an awaiting vehicle that wasn’t a taxi. I imagine he was an Uber driver or some sort of equivalent. Needless to say, we arrived at our destination in about 10 minutes, and it was the most stressful ride of my life – even more nerve-wracking than my eldest brother attempting to fit down the streets of Milan.

The driver zoomed through the city while giving us a quick tour and history lesson about the city and got us to our lodging in record time. The place we are staying is nestled in the center of the city overlooking the beautiful architecture. Once again, I am forever grateful for this experience, and while the language barrier is sometimes a hinderance, public decency and manners are universal, which is how we have been communicating thus far. As always, many a coffee, latte, and an espresso have kept me sane this trip; so, stay tuned for tomorrow’s crazy adventures through Rome. I’m sure there will be something insane to keep you on the edge of your seat … until tomorrow.